Being Conscious and Deliberate

In a world filled with a lot of distractions and lots of things we believe we "need", how can we learn to cut out all the distraction to live on our own terms? How much do we really need in our life? How much of the media is influencing us and putting pressure on us to always want more? How does this affect our kids and our family life? How much busyness do we need to have to feel worthy and how best can we care for ourselves in this busy world. 

Some questions to ponder. I am no therapist or counselor. I practice learning, failing and take the experiences that have taught me over and over what I need and how to listen to my inner self. And it takes practice, practice, practice and deliberate practice. And I screw up plenty!  But I love to share what works and does not work for me. Everyone should make up their own decisions on what that is for them. 

If you feel that you are consumed by external distraction and always wanting more, take a deep hard look and listen to exactly what it is you want more of.  Is it family time? A vacation with friends you have never took? Time to visit your favorite book store? I find that many times it is never really what it seems. Sometimes we have to investigate our real needs, desires and evaluate how we live our lives and hit the pause button.  For instance, all I really want sometimes is to lie still with a book and read. But, I get caught up in "I really need to go to the gym".. I have not gone in 3 days or "I really need stop and drop off the library books before they close". Do I? The gym will be there tomorrow when I am more focused and ready and it would best serve me to relax and go tomorrow and the books can be dropped off at anytime through the drop off box. It does me no justice to stress out trying to fit in what I think I need to do, with what my mind really needs at that moment. Many times it is yearning to be nurtured and not distracted by stuff. For me this means slowing down and calming down with intention. It beats having everything on my "to do" list completed and be completely unsatisfied and falling apart at the seams. 

I also practice conscious parenting. Yes! Conscious and deliberate. Not letting the "stuff" get in the way of how I want to parent. Not going through the motions, keeping up with crazy schedules, allowing technology to run my child over or putting my child aside for my own agenda. I put my phone down (better yet shut it off) get on their level, give lots of hugs and ask lots of good questions. Deliberate parenting, not perfect parenting. :)

As parents and particularly mothers, we often come last. It is our job to take care of everyone and hopefully at some point in the day, there will be a few minutes of "me time". Me time often takes shape of making lunches the next day, paying bills and folding laundry. Wow. "me time" is awesome! (Insert sarcasm). You get my point. My cup is empty as I sometimes say.

We must fill the cup! Take time for yourself, your thoughts, what your body and mind need. It is OK to say no to family, your partner or even your kids to take some time to yourself. This does not mean the ones you love get ignored or needs not met. It just means you take a break, time of respite to reflect on your own needs. Many times  I will find myself coming back renewed and re-energized. And when you take the time to be with family on a conscious level, they will also feel that renewed energy. 

How do you practice being conscious and deliberate in your own life?